


Breach Trip

by AyMayZing



Series: Inquisition's Charms [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dalish Elves, Dorian can't sleep, Dorian's POV, Elf/Human Relationship(s), Family Drama, Feels, Insomnia, M/M, POV Third Person, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Hushed Whispers, Pre-Relationship, a bit of flirting, a bit of serious conversation, and neither can Lavellan, two little shits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyMayZing/pseuds/AyMayZing
Summary: "I couldn't fall asleep because of this whole ordeal in Redcliffe. It was… a lot.""I couldn’t fall asleep either." Lavellan nodded, a smile returning to his face. "And then I thought - how can I get myself to fall asleep? Well, I have to get tired and then I’ll just pass out. So, I have an idea. You said you wanted to see the Breach. Let's do that."Dorian looked up at him surprised."What? Now? In the middle of the night?""I have something that may help you make up your mind."The elf stuck a hand under his cloak and produced a bottle filled with bright red liquid."Do you think I can be bought by a promise of an… exotic alcohol?""Yes.""And you're correct!" Dorian laughed and stood up. "Let's go see the hole in the sky up-close. In the middle of the night. In freezing cold. Oh, what has my life become?"Dorian and Lavellan go to see the Breach after they return from Redcliffe.
Relationships: Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus
Series: Inquisition's Charms [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158464
Kudos: 42





	Breach Trip

**Author's Note:**

> In the in-game dialogue Dorian says he'd like to see the Breach, so I thougt "Why not let him see it?" and did just that, adding some feels.

Haven was cold. It was so, so cold. Even in the small, wooden cabin equipped with a big fireplace that Dorian kept lit with magic, he got goosebumps the moment he took off his coat.

He should be asleep - this whole ordeal in Redcliffe was exhausting and terrifying, and the return to Haven with a few hundred scared mages wasn't much nicer. But he couldn't. Whenever he lied down and closed his eyes, all he could see was poor Felix, rotten by the Blight in the dark future and Alexius' empty face when he realized he had lost and there was nothing he could do to save his son. Leliana's furious gaze and words kept coming back to him.

So, instead of sleeping, Dorian just sat cross-legged on the simple rug in front of the fireplace and tried to see how much of his family tree he still remembered from those awful lessons he had to suffer through in childhood.

A knock on the door pulled him away from trying to remember all of his fourth cousins. He got up and went to the door, trying to figure out who could be paying him a visit in the middle of the night. Did Leliana decide that she did not trust him and sent one of her agents to stage a deadly accident?

"I knew you'd be awake,” Dorian heard a voice before he fully opened the door. The accent was unmistakable – Lavellan.

The elf stood before him, arms crossed and a small smile on his freckled, pale face. He was quite tall for an elf, with blonde hair pulled back into a messy bun at the back of his head. A few locks fell out, framing his handsome face.

And Dorian probably should stop staring.

"Oh? And how did you know that, pray tell?" Dorian retorted with a, hopefully convincing, smile.

"I'll tell you but maybe you should let me in, first. It’s freezing here."

“Right, of course,” Dorian said, and moved to let his guest in. "So, enlighten me?" he asked, once the door closed after Lavellan.

"It's just…" now, inside, the elf looked smaller. More tired. Slumped shoulders, small frame hidden by a heavy, warm cloak. The smile vanished from his face and he didn't look at Dorian but at the roaring fire.

"Redcliffe was a lot. I'm still processing everything we've seen in this dark future. I suspect it's similar for you."

Dorian sighed and sat down at his bed, as Lavellan leaned against the wall in front of him.

"It's been four days."

"Of running around and ensuring no one kills the mages on our way back here. Don't know about you, but I barely had the time to sit down, let alone to try to sort this out in my head."

"I…" Dorian hesitated. His father always told him, that showing others your weaknesses was unacceptable. You always had to put on a brave face and act as if everything was going just as you wanted it to. But right now he really didn't want to do that. Put on a mask and act as if he wasn't plagued by nightmares the moment he closed his eyes.

The Herald of Andraste himself was honest, even vulnerable in front of Dorian. Why should he hide how he feels?

"I understand,” he whispered, once he made up his mind. ”You're right. I couldn't fall asleep because of this whole ordeal. It was… a lot."

Lavellan nodded, a smile returning to his face.

"I couldn’t fall asleep either. And then I thought - how can I get myself to fall asleep? Well, I have to get tired and then I’ll just pass out. So, I have an idea. You said you wanted to see the Breach. Let's do that."

Dorian looked up at him surprised.

"What? Now? In the middle of the night?"

"We can go in the middle of the day, but only if the Inquisition leaders won't make me run around and put out fires the entire day. And that is very unlikely."

"But… Isn't it dangerous there?"

Lavellan shook his head and another lock of golden hair fell out of his bun.

"No. There are patrols and scout outposts on the way there, Inquisition soldiers are stationed at the Temple and I've closed all Rifts in the valley. It's not even that difficult to get there, it's only the height and lots of snow that make it so tiring. Also," he added, when the mage still looked unconvinced. "I have something that may help you make up your mind."

The elf stuck a hand under his cloak and produced a bottle filled with bright red liquid.

"That's not Antivan red." Dorian said.

Lavellan smirked "No, it's not. A bann visited and gifted this to Josephine who gave it to me. It's an Avvar liquor, considered a delicacy by Fereldan nobles. Apparently they make it from blood lotos and black pepper. I hear it's really strong stuff."

"Do you think I can be bought by a promise of an… exotic alcohol?"

"Yes."

"And you're correct!" Dorian laughed and stood up. "Let's go see the hole in the sky up-close. In the middle of the night. In freezing cold. Oh, what has my life become?"

Lavellan chuckled and hid the bottle under his cloak again.

"Tell me about it."

Dorian walked past Lavellan and opened a big, wooden chest in which he stored most of his belongings and a heavy, fur-lined cloak that Josephine issued him with. It was similar to the one Lavellan was wearing, but clearly more used and gray, whereas herald's was new, clean and in a nice, deep shade of purple that complimented his pale face. Also, Dorian's cloak stunk. He grunted and made a face of disgust as he put it on.

"Why does it have to stink so badly? Who wore it? Where was it kept?" he whined, tying it under his chin. Lavellan's laugh came from where he was leaning against the wall behind him.

"Well, it's no sandalwood and oranges, but at least it's not the overwhelming stench of a wet dog, so common in Ferelden."

"Ha! True. Also, 'sandalwood and oranges'. What an odd thing to say, especially coming from…" Dorian stopped talking as soon as he realized, what he was about to say but it was already to late. The ending of the sentence was obvious. He turned around, expecting to see Lavellan angry and immediately felt trapped. The elf look unfazed, still casually leaning against the wall, only his smile turned from humorous to a more… predatory one.

"’From a dirty, knife-eared savage from the woods?’" he asked, raising a brow at Dorian. The Vint felt he was on thin ice.

"What? No, that's not what I meant…"

"That's exactly what you meant."

 _He's already seen through you. Do you think lying is the best option here?_ A voice at the back of Dorian’s face whispered and the man sighed.

"I'm sorry. That was unworthy. I wouldn’t have said exactly what you said, but I suspect it would’ve been close enough to offend you. I apologize."

That was clearly the best answer, as Lavellan's shoulders relaxed and he smiled lightly.

"It's fine, I'm used to that. But I'm glad you're able to own up to a mistake. I need to be able to trust you, if you want to help, so it's good to know you can be honest."

"’Can’?"

Lavellan smirked and suddenly reminded Dorian of a very pleased with himself cat.

"Oh, Dorian, I am definitely not honest all the time, so I don't expect people around me to be either. Occasional honesty is good enough."

"Thank you." Dorian said, grinning at this sneaky, conniving elf. _What a bastard_ , he thought with a warm feeling to it.

He became quite fond of the Herald during their first conversation in the Redcliffe chantry. He was not used to elves who looked him in the eye, with a raised chin and an air of confidence around them. But that was how Lavellan acted around everyone – him, Alexius, Inquisition leaders. He was sure of himself and not afraid, but also had a big heart – he wouldn't let his friends die for him and allowed the mages to aid the Inquisition as allies, even though he could've easily made them his prisoners.

He was a good man and Dorian would not let himself say something as stupid as he just did ever again.

"Shall we?" Lavellan asked, showing Dorian to the door and bringing him back to the present. The human smiled.

"After you, my dear Herald!"

"Just so you know" he added, as the doors closed after them, "I would never call you that word."

The elf frowned, confused.

"Which word?"

"The… silent k word?"

Now Lavellan laughed wholeheartedly.

"Oh, that's great! I'm gonna call it that. _Silent k word_!"

* * *

It was freezing outside, but also beautiful. The moon was round and bright and thousands of stars sparkled around it. The soft snow glistened on mountain tops and everywhere around Dorian and Lavellan as they made their way away from Haven.

At the village's gates two soldiers stood at their posts. Lys had greeted them by names and announced that he and Dorian had to go take a look at the Breach before he would try to close it with mages' help in a few days. The guards seemed a bit surprised but they nodded and opened the gates. And now the odd pair of them, a runaway Tevinter and a Dalish sent by the Maker, were on their way.

"So, wanna try this?" Lavellan asked, waving the bottle of the suspicious Avvar liquor in the air.

"Of course. What's the worst that could happen? Poisoning? An awful hangover?”

Lavellan laughed. "I pride myself on holding my liquor rather well. But if you don't feel up to it…"

"Oh, just give me that!" Dorian grabbed the bottle out of the elf's grasp, opened it and took a swig.

It tasted… herbal, spicy and sweet. It burned his throat as he swallowed but in an unusual way, that he couldn't quite put his finger on. But, overall, it was good.

"So?" Lavellan asked, watching Dorian's face as if he was half expecting him to drop dead. The Vint smiled.

"Interesting. I don't think I've ever tried anything like it. A bit too sweet for my liking, but rather tasty."

The Herald of Andraste grabbed the bottle and tried it himself.

"Wow, that's really good! Who would've thought? I never suspected Fereldans to actually have a sense of taste!" the elf said, taking another gulp. Dorian laughed incredulously, raising a brow at his companion.

"My, my, you have quite the opinions on Fereldans! What did they ever do to you?"

"It's just what I always heard. And then I came to Ferelden and it turned out to be true. I mean, you see this too, right? Everything is grey and brown – nature, animals, houses, cities and villages, even food. And it all tastes grey, Dorian! I don't know how, but it does!" Lavellan said, waiving his hands frantically while illustrating his point. Dorian couldn't help but laugh.

"I do see it. It's a bit terrifying, to be honest. I keep wondering whether it's supposed to be that way or do they just never clean anything?"

Lavellan giggled and passed Dorian the bottle. He drank and then they walked in a comfortable silence for a while, as the road lead them up and down many snow-covered sets of stairs and slopes. Eventually though, Lavellan spoke up, and his tone was no longer so breezy.

"So, Dorian… Do you want to talk about Redcliffe? No, wait," he raised his hand when he saw the mage's look, "Let me rephrase that. Do you _need_ to talk about Redcliffe?"

That was a much better question. _Kaffas_ , why couldn't he have just stuck with the first version?

"I don't really talk about… feelings" he said, wary.

"A shame. I hear it's good for you." Lavellan murmured. Then, after a heavy pause "I can go first, if that'll make you feel better about it."

Dorian took a deep breath, looking everywhere but not at the elf next to him. He finally let it out through his nose and shook his head.

“No, that would just be unfair. Ah… Well, you caught me! Yes, all of this… It was a lot, even for someone as handsome and capable as I am.” He sent Lavellan a crooked smile, causing him to chuckle lightly.

“Of which there aren’t many, I’m sure. But, please, continue.”

Why did he need to continue? Couldn’t they just keep up this flirting thing they had going on? But Lavellan watched him with a soft expression, ready to hear more and Dorian gave up.

“When I learned what happened to Felix, not in the future, but in the past, when I heard he became sick, I tried learning as much as I could about symptoms, cures… I knew what would happen to Felix, but I never expected to actually _see_ it with my own eyes. He was… He was my best friend. Still is. But that _thing_ there? That was not Felix. It was an abomination. I–I’m furious with Alexius. For all that he did, for joining these Venatori, for sending us through time but most of all, I’m furious with him that he allowed something like this to happen to Felix.”

“He made peace with his fate long ago. Why can't his father?” He added after a heavy pause. Lavellan put a hand on the mage’s arm.

“People do stupid things for their kids. Out of love. He went too far and it’s a shame he didn’t notice it sooner, but that timeline is off the table now, remember? Here we stopped him. He won’t hurt Felix further and he may yet see how wrong what he did was. And when it comes to Felix… We gave him a chance at a peaceful death on his own terms.”

Dorian snorted humourlessly, his face twisted as he watched his feet.

“I know. I simply wish I could do more for him.”

“There’s no cure for the Blight, Dorian.” Lys whispered, taking his hand off of Dorian’s shoulder. The mage briefly missed the contact.

“I know. And I don’t blame you, of course. I don’t even blame myself. It’s just… regret.”

“I understand. Not being able to help is awful.”

Dorian nodded and reached out, taking the Avvar liquor from Lavellan, trying to drown out his worries and regret in the alcohol. _As you always do_ , the voice at the back of his head chimed in. It seemed to only speak up when Dorian did something stupid – and it usually sounded a lot like his parents. This time his dad.

“What happens to Alexius now?” He asked. Lavellan shook his shoulders.

“I don’t know. He’s in the cells now. Josie sent word to Tevinter and Denerim – both your Archon and the royal couple of Ferelden have reasons to demand extradition. He will be judged by someone eventually.”

“Not by the Inquisition?”

“As long as we don’t have an Inquisitor, there’s no one who could legally sentence him. So, it’s prison for now.”

“Aren’t you… The Inquisitor?”

Lavellan spat out the red alcohol, coughing as he looked at Dorian in shock.

“What!? No! Oh, no, no, no! I’m ‘the Herald of Andraste’ or at least that’s what they’re calling me, but that’s not a position – I’m just an agent of the Inquisition.”

“You seem to run this business, so I assumed…”

“Me? No, I just run around and kill bad people. Leliana, Josie, Cullen and Cassandra – they’re the ones orchestrating this whole mess.”

“So, any thoughts on who might become the Inquisitor?”

“Probably one of them. I’d say Leliana or Cullen – though Leliana prefers to work from shadows and Cullen hates nobles.”

“Why isn’t there an Inquisitor yet?” Dorian wondered, watching the elf take another sip.

“They wanted the Hero of Ferelden to take the position, but she dissapeared. So Cassandra went after Hawke, but he’s hiding from the Chantry – hardly surprising, if you ask me. They thought they’d find someone during the Conclave but that didn’t work out either.”

“Are you going to try and get the job?”

“Me? Why me?” Lavellan blurted out, scrunching his nose as if he smelt something rotten. “I got into this accidentally, I’m just an agent. Also, I’m a Dalish, Dorian. I don’t even believe in Andraste, so this whole crusading business is not for me.”

Dorian smirked.

“I don’t know about that! You’ve been handling it all very gracefully so far!”

“Uh–huh.” Lavellan’s face was grim. “I’ve just been running around, doing pointless tasks, while people around me are dying.”

The mage watched the elf intently.

“So, that’s my take on this whole Redcliffe madness. What’s yours? To be honest, my dear Herald, I don't understand why it's so hard on you. We got back. None of the things we've seen are going to happen."

The elf looked away, his shoulders tense under the heavy cloak.

"The Breach is still in the sky. If I die before I close it, or if I fail to close it… It's still gonna happen. Because of me."

Dorian has heard of the Herald of Andraste for weeks before he's laid eyes on him. A heretic, a Dalish elf, who wielded incredible power but was not even a mage. He's heard so much and he was not disappointed, when he finally got to meet him. In fact, he was pleasantly surprised – Lavellan was a charming, funny, handsome man, who wasn't a fanatic, nor a power hungry tyrant. He was a normal guy, who ended up in a crazy situation and was trying to make the best of it. To help everyone he could, while he had the chance.

But feeling responsible for so many lives must've been overwhelming, and right now it was showing.

"Some people hate me, some think me a next Andraste. But everyone says that I'm the only chance to close the Breach" he continued, his voice rasp and Dorian suspected it wasn't because of the liquor. "What if powering up the mark won't be enough? What if it's impossible to close it? What do we do then?"

"Also," Lavellan added after a moment, "Cassandra, Varric and Leliana died there, so that I could live. It's not a good feeling, when someone you care about dies for you."

"You sound as if…" Dorian said, watching Lavellan's sad expression. "As if you're talking from experience. Other than what we've been through at Redcliffe."

The elf snorted, a humourless smile on his face.

"Is that so obvious?"

"Is that why it's been so difficult for you? You know you are our only hope to close the Breach. You know everyone here believes in you. And if a few sacrifices will be necessary… many won't hesitate."

Lavellan sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. “I guess so…”

“You’re larger than life to many people here. I’m afraid there’s not much you can do to stop this from happening, when… _if_ the need arises. But if it’ll make you feel better,” Dorian put on the most charming smile from his arsenal and wiggled his eyebrows at the elf. “I promise I’ll never try to sacrifice myself for your sake.”

Lavellan laughed and looked at Dorian gratefully with his big, golden-green eyes.

“You know, it actually does make me feel better. Thank you, Dorian, for this uplifting display of selfishness.”

“Oh, trust me, such displays come to me quite easily. My father once said that they’re the only thing that I'm good at. If you ever require more, feel free to visit me, dear Herald!”

“Thanks. Though I must say, I think your father’s an idiot.”

Dorian stumbled when he heard those words.

“What? I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Lavellan looked at him a bit confused.

“Which part? About your father being an idiot?”

“Yes, that one”

The elf laughed a bit at Dorian’s pleading expression.

“Dorian, I think your father’s an idiot. Absolute imbecile. Complete moron!”

Pavus gasped and theatrically grasped his chest. “A man after my own heart! Oh, Lavellan, you know what to say to a guy!” They both laughed and shared the Avvar drink again, now making their way up old, stone stairs. The way to the Temple was much lighter than Dorian expected. Probably since the Inquisition had to keep a close eye on the Breach, they made it as accessible as possible.

“Family sucks sometimes, huh?” the elf asked. Dorian’s shoulders got a bit more tense. It’s fine, he thought. Halward Pavus is not here. You’re capable of talking about him. No details necessary.

“Oh yes. Sadly, the whole ‘unconditional love’ thing is a pile of bullshit.” He mumbled and found it to be much easier than he expected. Somehow, that little (though nicely broad-shouldered) elf walking beside him made Dorian feel… safe. He looked at the Herald. “Yours too?”

“Not my father - he's wonderful. My grandmother on the other hand… Yeah, with her, it’s a lot like you said.”

“Really?” Dorian raised his brows. “I thought the Dalish were a rather tight-knit bunch.”

“We are” Lavellan answered, a grimace on his face. “But there are still expectations. And my grandmother is kind of… a special case. She gets to expect more of me, than other Dalish of their grandchildren.”

“Oh? How is that?” Dorian asked and then added, “I mean… If you want to talk of it. I, myself, don’t like to talk of my father. Unless, of course, it’s to hear as a handsome man call him an imbecile.”

Lavellan chuckled yet again, sending Dorian a smile reminiscent of a pleased cat.

“It’s fine. My grandmother's the Keeper, so the leader of our clan. She doesn't agree with some of my decisions and would rather make them for me - what I should do, where I should go, who should I see. She also keeps pestering me to marry my best friend and make babies.” Lavellan groaned and took a long drink of the Avvar liquor. “So, you know. The usual.”

Dorian stared at him with a complete shock. The other man caught his look and asked, worried “Dorian? Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that?"

“I, uh…” the human had a bit of trouble with regaining his composure and forming a sentence that made sense. “I just… It’s so familiar. My father did similar things – decided what I should or should not do without listening to me. Kept inviting matches for dinners, no matter how much I said I’m not interested. It’s just…” Dorian furrowed his brow, wondering how to say this. “We grew up in such different ways. And yet went through so similar experiences!”

Lavellan observed him for a moment and smiled. “Huh. I guess you’re right. A Dalish elf and a Tevinter nobleman. Could've done great for themselves in their respective worlds and yet they both ended up here, on top of a mountain, in the middle of the night. And it's not the worst that could happen!" The elf raised the bottle. “To making our own decisions then!”

He drank and passed the bottle to Dorian, who also made a toast before drinking “And to mountain tops in the middle of the night!”

Suddenly, a sizzling sound could be heard and Lavellan’s left hand started glowing green. He hissed and shook his hand, his jaw locked, brows furrowed.

“I’m still not used to that” Dorian said, watching as the elf flexed his hand. “Does it hurt?”

Lavellan nodded tightly.

“Yeah. Though usually not as much. It seems to react more strongly to the Breach than to a regular Rift. We’re almost there. I didn’t even notice!”

They were indeed close. After a moment they walked into a scout outpost, greeted Inquisition soldiers there, and walked down a flight of stairs, onto a kind of stone balcony.

And there it was – the Breach, a huge, green hole in the sky, just above their heads.

“Wow…” Dorian sighed. It was… Well, impressive wasn't the best way to describe a gateway into the land of demons and dreams, but it _did_ make an impression. It was beautiful and terrifying at once, it hypnotized and made one want to run away as far and fast as he could.

The Breach seemed to be moving and changing constantly, yet still managed to look like a majestic statue, a symbol. Dorian remembered the way it looked in the dark future – there it was no longer a phenomenon, but a force, wild and unstable, hungry. He definitely liked the one before, or rather, above him, much more. He turned to Lavellan, who was scanning the Breach with a poker face. Only a crease in his forehead gave out that he was deep in thought, his hand still glowing, clearly unstable.

It was quite the sight. The Herald of Andraste facing his future, maybe the greatest challenge in his life. The Breach was terrifying. How could Lavellan, a small elf with messy blond hair, big eyes and freckled face, be in any way a danger to that? How could he close the Breach, get rid of it forever?

But, for some reason, Dorian had no doubt that Lavellan could do that. He wasn't just a small elf. He was a capable leader, a man who could make hard decisions, a man with a good heart, who fought off four bears just to bring a bouquet of flowers to a grave. He had a moral compass he followed and didn't sway from it, yet still managed to be an easy-going, funny, charming person, with whom you could share your deepest fears or just a drink.

He was a remarkable, strong man and right there, on top of a mountain, in the middle of the night, Dorian had fully realized that. He believed in Lavellan and would do his best to help him.

"The Breach is up there" Lavellan laughed, as he caught Dorian watching him. The other man blushed (actually blushed, like a schoolgirl!), but then smiled warmly.

"Not for much longer, dear Lavellan."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is always welcome!  
> Find me on Tumblr: [@aymayzing](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aymayzing)


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